The other day I watched my son playing with his blocks. He was setting up obstacles for his monster truck race. As he was running back and forth between the playroom and living room he was yelling.
“I better hurry, Mom! I better hurry!”
“I don’t have time to talk to you, we’re running out of time!”
“I just can’t handle this! I can’t do this! I don’t have enough time!”
“Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!”
As I watched and listened, my heart sunk. As he frantically ran from room to room saying these words, tears welled up in my eyes.
These words are MY words.
I can’t count how many times I say that word throughout the day.
I always feel rushed to get out of the house…even when we still have plenty of time. I’m always aware of how much time we have until lunchtime or nap time. I’m always aware of when we have to leave to get somewhere on time.
My eye is fixed on the clock, counting down the time until the next “thing”.
Being late is a huge trigger for me.
I get so frustrated and angry when I feel the pressure of the clock. Add a slow moving 3 year old and a toddler to the mix, and I’m a ticking time bomb.
It takes every last piece of my power to not yell at my son to “Just Get Your Shoes On!!” when we’re heading somewhere.
When my oldest son was little, I was able to slow down. I remember taking relaxing walks and not being in a rush for much at all.
But I know myself, and I was probably able to relax because I knew we had time to take it slow.
Now, with having a baby in the house again, I’m always aware of when nap times and feeding times are. I know we only have a certain amount of time to get out of the house and back before he starts getting tired and cranky.
I’m back to being in a rush…all the time.
I’m ready to slow down again. I’m ready to take my time.
And I need to. My stress about time is rubbing off on my kids, and I’m not okay with that.
Time is a constant focus here.
We talk about “how much more time until…?”, “do we have enough time to…?”, “we’re running out of time!””
And I don’t like that.
I want my children to enjoy their childhood. I want them to be able to freely play and not have to worry about when we have to do something.
So, for my sanity and my ability to successfully make it this whole year without yelling, something has to change.
I don’t really have an “action plan” for this, like I usually do. The only real thing I can do is relax, breathe, and find a few good mantras to get me through the tough, hurried moments.
Are you like me, Mama? Do you feel the pressure of the clock? Help me out and give me some pointers.